Why Changes Don't Last: How to make them last.
Have you ever left home for a while, and changed while you were gone? Any kind of change? The things that happen to us in our lives help shape who we are, our environments effect us more then we care to notice. That's why different parts of the USA have different forms of normal. Your accent is your accent because of the accents of the kids you grew up with. The food you like is normal to you, but may look super weird to someone from a different region. For example in the South they eat Gumbo with Gator in it. In the North most people don't know what Gumbo is and would think a 100 times before even considering eating something with Alligator in it. That is because everything that is in our environment effects us in some shape or form.
Earlier I asked you if you had ever left home, and come back changed. If you answered yes, then my next question for you to think about is did that change last very long, was it hard to stay the person that you were while you were gone? For most people who change and them come back to where they were before have a hard time keeping their changes. This is not because the new changed person isn't who they really are, but because their change is not supported by their home environment. The people at home may be okay with the change but they don't usually fully support it. The family and friends usually continue on the same way they did before you left. They don't take time to help you keep your changes, This may not be because they do not support the change but because they didn't have that change They didn't leave and they weren't with you. If you really want to keep your change when you go home You are going to have to work very hard at it, you are going to have to say no to things you used to say yes to and you are going to have to say yes to things that you would have used to say no to. You will probably have to explain to friends, family, and neighbors that you aren't the same way that you used to be. You may even have to explain why. Simply because honestly they aren't going to get it, they weren't there.
Have you ever had someone in your life leave with the purpose of changing, and then when they got home it seemed like they hadn't changed, or the change didn't last long? This most likely happened because their environment didn't support the change, It doesn't mean that you didn't support them, just that things happening or things people did weren't helping the change. If you want your friends and family to come home changed and stay changed you may have to do things to help them make that and keep that change. For example if someone left because they had an alcohol problem, then drinking around them is not a good choice it's not supporting them, If you still want to drink but know it's best for them not too then drink elsewhere and unless they ask you to don't talk to them about how you went out drinking. It's a lot easier to stay sober when everyone around you is sober too. This applies to almost every change. In most cases the full environmental support may not always be necessary once they get used to the environment and their new lifestyle. But will be needed for a change to take full affect for quite some time. You can't send someone to rehab and expect them to come back and never do drugs again if you or your friends are doing drugs in the living room. People can change it is possible, but in order to keep the change it needs to be supported fully.
